Nothing says “Take” like getting stoned and publicly rambling about a doubling cube decision. Here’s a devilish question: Did you think you’d get The Devil all to yourself? No. Heavens. No. SHE is far too busy for the likes of you and your ilk, an elitist stickler for propriety in backgammon. Fret not. Today you are sadly stuck with a minor diurnal devil. Stuck with this sly and tawdry imp hovering before you. The one with too many impish opinions and no earthly use for another’s ideas. Miss White. The termagant drill sergeant. Hey, you there. Listen up. Here’s what matters in this cube position. Endless advice, at no charge. Look below.

The sly-and-tawdry little devil, Miss White, getting you to stare at a single backgammon position and hold your attention span in check. Frozen indecision. Like Buddha. The she-devil insists you inhale this position and divine whether you agree to raise the stakes. Either for now, or perhaps forever? Backgammon is played for keeps here in hell.

White’s prime is even better than it looks. With the white 8pt already broken, never to return, the two white checkers on her 9pt are a reservoir of flexible timing, a sweet advantage in this doubling cube position. White needs good timing to preserve her chief asset — the 5-prime — and to trap Black’s deep anchor for awhile.

Across the board, White’s premium anchor is midway through a tsunami of black blockers washing over the outpost. By waiting, White watches and enjoys a slow crumbling of Black’s will and a hasty conversion of the black outfield block into black strength within the home board.

All of which pops the question: White doubles. Does Black have a take in this situation?

White certainly has a good double. But what are Black’s chances? Black’s assets? No blots and no dancers. Yet. A deep anchor, which buys the right to finish this game to the bearoff. Cube in hand. A sturdy home board designed for late hits, and Black’s best game plan is hitting a white blot someday.

And the race is dead even. Black has a half roll lead in the pip count, but White has just cubed and hence on the roll. Equal number of wins for Black and White occur when both roll high dice and disengage, or when a shot is missed and the target blot scrambles home to bearoff.

Black’s decision to take the cube and double the stakes depends on the odds of Black getting slapped with a gammon. With a deep anchor, a gammon can often be avoided, by dickering some winning chances for a saving grace from the sin of gammon. Black’s estimate of gammon losses in this position: Hardly more than at the start of any game, about one in seven. White gammon losses are fewer in this position.

That’s the hellish situation down here. Being propositioned by a she-devil White to double the stakes, made to endure an onslaught of White rage, then directed toward a gammon loss. Your gammon loss, in particular. Act now, and a settlement may be negotiable. But only after you take the cube.

Relax, have a smoke, make yourself at home. Hell is full of early doublers, failed blitzes. We’ve got Giants, old tourny pros, kibbitzers, experts aplenty, chouette welchers, they’re all here. You’re not alone, you’re never alone, not here you’re not. OK, Break’s Over.

— apologies to Sting

Take or Drop? No immediate crisis, a close race hoping for boxcars, jackal hitting chances followed by closeout or by scrambling, a modest and tame gammon exposure, cube ownership during the bearoff. Does Black have a Take?